Where the Love Lasts Forever
Your mercy found me,
Upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing,
Into Your glory,
My sin and shame dissolved,
And now forever Yours I’ll stand.
In love never to end,
To call You more than Lord,
Glorious friend.
So I throw my life upon all You are,
‘Cause I know You gave it all for me,
And when all else fades,
My soul will dance
with You,
Where the love lasts forever.
*****
As I walked back in the drizzling rain today, I suddenly remembered why I believe in God. At 6.30pm today, where I felt that my life had sunk right to the bottom, where I felt nothing by abandonment and loneliness, all I could turn to was God for peace and love. At that point when I felt as if the whole world had abandoned me, Christ was my hope and my sole companion.
Naturally, there were many questions that followed: was Christ really enough for me to live a contented life in this world? I have concluded that it is not, because we still need relationships with people to survive, and it depends on how important Christ is in our lives. My conclusion, He is very important, because as a nomad, having drifted from one place to another, He is my one constant, and the one friend who really truly reached out to me in times of despair and need.
Not that I can blame others for neglecting me. I have somehow, built a wall around myself- I don’t express my emotions simply. I usually keep them buried and would rather pre-occupy myself with other things to forget that awful feeling than to talk about it. And without breaking that wall, it is hard to bring any friendship to another level. I am afraid of emotional commitment, which is why most of my friendships are very superficial. Throw in uni’s demanding schedule and unfriendly social environment, it drifts friendships further. Also, I run. I runaway from any possible emotional commitment to the opposite sex. Because right now, honestly, it would be nice to just breakdown, cry and hug someone till the sadness all goes away, but no, in all dignity and sensibility, I am not a damsel in distress.
Yet, there’s only one person that I feel comfortable in approaching and telling how I feel because she has seen me in my best and worst state, and because she understands. In all my complicated, unclear expressions, she understands.
I have finally come to terms with that one thing that I really want in life- to live a simple happy life with my soul mate, to be loved by that one person and knowing that I have fulfilled the purpose my existence. Anything and everything else is a bonus. That is my mission in life- to love and be loved in return.
Till then, I will just soak myself in God’s peace and know that in all quietness, I am not alone, for God is there to fill my heart with peace and love, and that I am not alone, even at my darkest moments.
I am writing this because I do not have anyone specific person that I would direct it to. I am just inviting you to slowly, walk into my world and slowly breakdown these walls…
*****
And forever I will sing,
Lord forever I will sing,
Of how You gave Your life away,
Just to save me, Lord You saved me.
With You, where the love lasts forever.
